Pretty much anything.
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Why did his mother, Miss Barbie, fail to him to play chess? I have learned that on these Amierikan plantations in the beautiful country of Texas, the white-devil slavemasters teach the slaves how to play chess. I have recently learned that my friend, Boris N. Yelsin, has risen from the grave due to the tireless efforts of the Russian Vodka Industry. Boris remarked that he really wanted to play this Mr. Bush a friendly game of chess for control of Kosovo, Iraq, Iran, Africa, South America, Mexico and the McDonalds hamburger chain. Mr. Bush, in a rare moment of honesty and with tears running down his cheeks, said his mom never taught him how to play chest due of his superior intelligence and breeding. He also claimed he was also too busy tinkering with War President "Big Dick" Cheny's pacemaker batteries. But he would send Miz. Condi Rice with all the mortgage papers for the countries involved as long as Boris had a piece of paper that would give her Russia in case Boris lost the match. Yet, the KGB found that Miz. Rice had had a new chip installed in her brain designed by, ohh you already know, Gary Kasparov.